A Word About Snoring 😴😵‍💫

I know. l know. What does snoring have to do with making music? Actually it kinda does. And I’ll tell you why. Quality and quantity of sleep are directly related to creativity >>> being on your game. 😐

If you don’t snore, or don’t sleep with someone who does, this is not for you. But you might want to hang onto it because some day (or night) it will probably come in handy. Here goes...

I’ve often compared the sound of my dear sweet husband’s snoring to a farm or a zoo. All the animals. A snort. A squeal. It’s bad. I’m hyper-focused on it and needless to say IT KEEPS ME AWAKE. And IT MAKES ME MAD. 

I’m sure he’ll have something to say about this BECAUSE I APPARENTLY SNORE as well. Or so he says. (My daughter says so too). 😵‍💫 

Thing is, I’ve slept alongside my “wife” Suzan who says I purr like a kitten while in slumber. But maybe she sleeps more deeply than Adam and doesn’t hear me.

To be fair, I have come to believe him. Though I don’t want to. Snoring is not pretty. Or handsome.

It’s gotten to the point where whoever falls asleep first wins. Because whoever is still awake must bear the brunt of the rumble.

We gently tap one another to encourage facing in the other direction. But if I tap him too often he’ll go sleep in another room… if simply to GET SOME SLEEP. I on the other hand, won’t go anywhere. My bed is my bed and I’m staying in it.

It’s not just us. This is a common issue for couples of a certain age. My friend Grace has annointed her guest room “the snoring lounge.” Architects are designing modern homes with sleeping alcoves to escape to when the rumble gets unbearable — a sliver of space adjacent to the primary bedroom (no longer called the “master”) with just enough square footage for a twin bed.

Adam and I have tried countless methods that promise to quell this sleep-depriving situation — nasal strips, ear plugs, mouth guards, humidifiers, a tennis ball in a pajama pocket! Most recently “mouth tape”- yes mouth tape - the latest stop-the-snoring trend. But the thought of taping my lips shut freaks me out. What if I need to SPEAK inside a dream? What if I suffocate? What if there's a home intruder and I can't SCREAM? 😱

I have not resorted to this and I don’t plan to:

But alas, I am here today to share with you that I (me!) have discovered a remedy:

See…Adam keeps a white-noise machine on his bedside table. Every night when we turn out the lights he switches it on and the low drone commences. (No waterfalls or rain as those aren't the same frequency as a snore). Although it doesn’t completely block out sound he says it at least helps mask it. I started wondering if I should get one too … for my bedside table. But having 2 machines in one room seemed silly. 

So a few weeks ago I placed the device right between our pillows (kinda as a joke). We laughed … but lo and behold in the morning we woke up and looked at each other like … OMG that was amazing! Both of us had fallen asleep and slept though the entire night. Putting it between us worked like a charm. For Adam — it was closer to the source >> Me! 😫 But it served my needs as well because it drowned him out too. It was all about placement. Equal Opportunity White Noise Distribution!

How this sleep-tip never came across my screen in a clickable link is beyond me. I haven’t been this well-rested in years! And I’m certain my improved cognitive function will up my performance in the writing room.

So if you snore, or sleep next to someone who does, you’re welcome!

See below

1) Product’s suggested placements

2) My additional suggestion ↓↓↓↓

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