Every Day Is Another Chance To Try

I read a lot recently about people no longer subscribing to new year's resolutions — The ‘fresh start’ mentality is fleeting. Maybe there’s a bit of cynicism mixed in after years of making promises to themselves that they can’t keep. Or maybe they’re simply practical. I mean — why Jan 1? Why not any day of the year?

I get it. 

I just finished packing up my Christmas ornaments, stockings, evergreen scented candles. I do this every Jan 1. Don’t delay the inevitable. The holidays are over. Get on with it. If I don't do it on Jan 1 the tree might still be there in March because … I love Christmas and I’m sad to see it end. I know it lasts for 12 days but admit it … Christmas carols after Jan 2 just seem kind of stale don’ t they?

Jan 1 is a marker — before the year gets going and we become distracted, immersed, bombarded. As my friend Michelle Lewis aptly puts it — before "life gets lifey." 😳

I have this bad habit. I've failed so many times at breaking it and every morning I wake up determined to give it another go. I laugh at myself. But you never know. Humans have been known to break habits.

Think about it this way. For every time you don't succeed never look at it as a failure, but as a rehearsal. Somebody once told me that young songwriters have to get through all the ‘no’s’ — all the hundreds of rejections — before they can get to the ‘yes.’ So best to get your no’s over with.  All those rehearsals. Every one matters. Every one gets you 'closer.'

Besides, it’s likely we have time on Jan 1 (at least I do while I'm sulking about the end of Christmas ) to take stock, consider what we need to do to be 10% happier. I'm not looking for big ideas. Sometimes it's just little adjustments that make a difference.  

Like … I’m going to ask someone else how they’re doing before they have a chance to ask about me. I’m going to try to be more forgiving. Not use my recent shoulder surgery as an excuse to avoid the yoga mat. Remind my students more often not to compare their songs with anyone else’s. Remind myself not to compare my songs with anyone else’s. (We all have a unique voice. Nobody can do me like I do. )

Last week, my husband said something to me about ‘cherishing every day … life is short’ … you know. And I got a little short with him. He didn’t understand. We say this to each other all the time. I know this all too well. l constantly express my love and gratefulness for my family and friends. I cherish an experience instead of a wrapped gift. It seems like what he said was a given — something you tell someone who doesn’t know. Or a child. Or maybe death has gotten so random I don’t want to be reminded. Yes. I think that’s more like it. Anyway honey, I’m sorry. 

There it is — I’ll say I’m sorry more often too. 

Aren't resolutions a decision rather than a guarantee or a promise? Don't they have more to do with hope — something we can’t put our finger on or catch in a bottle? Jonathan Lear refers to a concept he calls "Radical Hope" (the words are a staple on my refrigerator) as a feeling that "anticipates a good for which those who have the hope as yet lack the appropriate concepts with which to understand it.” 

It’s a leap of faith. The alternative is bleak. 

In the last episode of the series “Fleishman Is In Trouble” — an existential look at midlife, choices, marriage and relationships — Libby (the narrator) suggests: ‘You could die of hope — the way it blinds you a little — the way it led you to try again despite what you knew.’ 

That’s all you can ask of yourself. 

So when it comes to resolutions I’m not writing them off just yet. Here's to one new year's resolution you manage to keep or .... a year's worth of productive rehearsals. 

 Welcome, 2023. Bring it!

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