Funny Girl

We were excited. Layla and I. Everyone’s been raving about the revival of Funny Girl on Broadway. Aside from the fact I was sitting directly behind a man with the biggest head in the theater, I was stoked. At least he was bald. But still — such a huge head. I think it pays to sit on the end of an aisle so you’re viewing the stage from an angle — in-between heads — so that no matter how big a head is it’s not an issue. 

Or…first row mezzanine.

The tiny lady 2 seats over filed in with a red velvet cushion (same material and color as the seats in the theatre) to presumably prop herself up. A grown-up booster seat if you will. I wish I had a cushion. No fair. 

My father used to play Broadway Cast albums. Funny Girl  got the most love. He was a Barbra Streisand fanatic. One of his favorite songs of all time was “People.” He knew a good message when he heard one. 

Lea Michele who currently plays Fanny Brice is a super-star with undeniable talent. She first came onto my radar as Rachel Berry in Glee and she would come to record 3 original songs for the show which I co-wrote with producer Adam Anders. That was a thrill. But shortly after the season when I approached her at a local hiking trail she beelined into her chauffeur-driven town car and slammed the door. I won’t hold it against her. But 😡

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Curtain up! 

Lea was delightful and adorable in the role. The crowd went wild. Several times. Myself included. There was this feeling of … thank you for saving the show. Apparently Beanie Feldstein didn’t cut it. She was miscast? Didn’t have the chops? Couldn’t sell tix. 

But I had to wonder — was the audience brought to their feet because of Lea’s portrayal of Fanny or did it have a little to do with the fact that she’s a celebrity they worship with a massive appeal and following? And yes, she did save the show. Hey…it’s a TikTok world. Can you blame me for wondering? Because something didn’t feel right. 

At intermission Layla asked me what I thought. I was afraid she’d think me a contrarian (which I often am) if I wasn’t all-in. After all everyone has been raving about Lea in the role — so do I want to be that girl? No. But I think I'm gonna be that girl.

See, Lea’s Fanny Brice’s cute qualities were the very things that Barbra’s legendary Fanny was not. Barbra’s Fanny was outrageous. An odd beauty. A lovable clumsy anomaly. That’s what made ladies-man Nicki Arnstein’s attraction to her so unlikely. Lea’s Fanny was someone you could imagine just about anyone falling in love with. 

But the lungs? Sure. She’s got those. No argument there.  But again, not the same lungs as Babs. I mean, does anyone have those?

I came clean to Layla. To my relief, she did not disagree with my assessment!  

Who else could have been cast? Who knows? IMO If my friend Idina Menzel was circa 30 she could have played the role. Not cuz she’s my friend. But because, well, she has beauty but she can play gawky. She’s not as petite. An odder bird. More lived in. And lungs!

I can already see the trolls — the diehard Lea Lovers descending upon me. They’ll say I did hold the dodging me against her. That’s ok. Nothing could be more icky than the trolls who hacked my Facebook page this week. Check it out. Besides, an unpopular opinion is better than, as my friend Billy Steinberg says about lyrics — being ‘beige.’ Boring. Blending in. Safe. 

What if Lea was fitted with a subtle nose prosthetic or prominent ears — something that would make her not so perfectly pretty? But Gen Z Layla pushed back. She said (with authority) that women with not-so-small-noses (or ears) would take offense at the suggestion that either of these would make them less attractive even though it would make for a more believable Fanny Brice. Layla insisted that of late we have to be so careful who we offend.

But you know what? I'm getting tired of being careful about who might be offended when it comes to art or stand-up comedy. Did someone say woke? What is woke? It’s being Aware! You’ve been asleep and now you’re awake. You’re someone who wants to work on your biases. I’m woke. And I’m proud of it. But I haven’t gone off the deep end. 

I loved the show. I did. The dancing, the acting, the comedy, the sets, the costumes, THE SONGS! I cried at “People.” Except for this wee little observation I even thoroughly enjoyed Lea. But that doesn’t mean that attempting to re-capture the legendary Fanny with all her eccentricity wouldn’t be a more authentic Funny Girl experience.

As for the red velvet cushion, the woman left it behind. It must have been theatre-supplied. Maybe she had to prove she was under 5’1” in order to get one. I think if you have to sit behind a human with a larger-than-life head you should be able to get one too. 😁

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