Holiday Cards

Every December for the past 26 years I’ve sent out holiday cards — since shortly after my daughter was born. It was around the time my career was taking off. Along with being all grown up and wanting to share a yearly portrait with my friends and family, I believed sending wishes to my music business and song-making community would keep me front of mind.

The image on the card has been light in spirit — usually the three of us in a loving configuration. Two kitties on the back. And then sadly, only one. It’s been a pleasure sending this yearly greeting. To touch base. To get touched back.

But this year I’m having trouble.

Why?

Post Covid Feeling Lazy?

Everyone I love knows I love them. They don’t need another card from me to prove it?

My career has pivoted, I’m comfortable in my new standing  and besides label A&R aren’t even there any more? 😳

Still, I’m reluctant to relinquish this delightful tradition. I opened my laptop — got as far as uploading an image to Shutterstock and ‘starting a project.’ But when it came to the caption — you know — wishing everyone cheer and merriness it felt like I was ignoring the elephant in the room.

Maybe it will be a warm and cozy Christmas in the privacy of my home with Nat King Cole (or in my case Ray LaMontagne) crooning from the speakers but what about the other side of the world? Or even the other side of town? Across the street? Oh I know there’s tragedy and hardship going on all the time somewhere but it seems like the world is in more of a collective crisis than ever before in my lifetime. Aren’t we all feeling this?

I kept saving the “project” and returning to edit the caption. What can I write that isn’t tone deaf? What about “Wishing you a ‘peaceful’ new year”? Really? Things would have to change super fast to make that possible.

Perhaps (as per Stevie wonder) wishing you “joy inside your tears.” Because we can’t know happiness without knowing sadness. But that’s not the Christmas spirit, is it? Holiday cards are under the impression there are no tears at Christmas time. Not true. There are tons more tears than any other time of year. Even when the world isn’t a mess.

This morning I received an email from Shutterfly urging me to hurry up and finish my project especially if I wanted to place my order in time for their early bird discount. I don’t remember getting an email like that from them in the past. Clearly they’re concerned. I wonder if business is down. If it’s not just me struggling with a personal message.

I look back on the 26 cards I’ve sent — a timeline of the evolution of our small clan. (Also…I realize how little I change my hair.)

Sigh.

I nearly close my laptop and put the matter to rest. But then I reconsider. I’ve always been someone who’s hoped beyond hope. “Radical Hope” they call it. Relentless idealistic optimism. An ambitious response to a state of affairs. Hope that doesn’t get knocked down no matter what.  Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” comes to mind.

Just a few weeks ago I scribbled this on a Post-it:

Hope is good for the heart

But it makes a fool of me

Time and Time

I forget

How daft I’ve been

For here I go

I hope

And hope again

In essence we must find joy. We must wish joy for/to others. For all the hate, violence, abundance of road rage (have you noticed?), hostage-taking, civilian casualties, climate curiosities, random acts of rudeness, long mysterious Covid, Inflation, tip inflation 😵‍💫, the houseless, the political pandemonium there is still an abundance of reason to be joyful.

Sending people cheer doesn’t mean I’ve gone numb to the global chaos or that I’ve lost a grip on empathy. The two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

There are beautiful humans all around. Goodness and miracles. Lost items get found. Wounds heal. The moral universe bends toward the light. Sometimes super slowly.

And so … I’m ordering my holiday cards. And stamps. (Shutterfly will be so pleased.) Because the alternative is that a hole gets poked in my hope. And I refuse to be ready for that.

********

Thanks for staying with me. If you'd like to subscribe to my blog please click here. Listen to my album 2.0 etc… Get a signed CD or a copy of “Confessions of a Serial Songwriter.” And here’s My Serial Songwriter Facebook Page! I’m just not that into Twitter. I mean X 💋