Mentoring Matters

Photo by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash

Over the years (and there have been many) I’ve often been asked to be a mentor for aspiring songwriters or creative writers. While I’ve participated in a few workshops such as WriteGirl which champions “the power of a (teenage) girl and her pen” and I’ve offered my services to be auctioned off in worthy fundraisers, I’ve never committed to a lengthy program that would require extended time, thought and planning. 

I’ve had my reasons…I was busy being a mom, or writing my next hit (or so I thought), or recording my own (belated) album. There was usually something on my plate. And I didn’t want to commit unless I could give a mentee the attention they deserve and expect.   

During the last few months however, the world has slowed down considerably and I’ve been pushing my fork around that plate asking myself if I’m hungry. Between the distancing due to Covid and yet another (more than 1) black life tragically taken the desire to ask people to subscribe to my blog or listen to a new song has taken a back seat. 

These ego-centric asks will ease back in as life resumes to semi-normal (hopefully soon, please God…cuz no-humans and no hugging is really a drag) but until it does I’ve been thinking maybe this is a good time to focus on somebody else for a change. 

And so when my friend and colleague Susan Dodes (no I’m not going to call her a “BADASS” — I mean, she is…but aren’t you sick of the word “BADASS?”) asked me to come onboard for the inaugural  She Is The Music Virtual Mentorship Program I said, “bring it.” I can’t deny my response had something to do with the respect I have for the lady who asked and that the founder of the organization is Alicia Keys — an artist I admire tremendously — and that the program has a stellar reputation for creating opportunity for the next generation of women in music. But all that aside I was ripe for the invitation. 

So for the next 8 weeks I’ll be making myself available to a young woman to talk about goals, culture, professional development, song structure, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with a career in a competitive space.

Though I don’t excel at curriculum I’m pretty damn good at the conversation. And I imagine we’ll have a lot in common. See, I’ve been a beginner, I’ve wondered where my first break would come from, I’ve faced rejection (still do daily), failure (constantly). I’ve gotten lost in crowds and found refuge in ladies room stalls where I could catch my breath and remember who I am: a dreamer who (still) believes in herself. 

Finding Refuge: Madison Square Garden GRAMMY Awards 2018

 I guess I’ve had enough accomplishments in between all the bullshit to be considered a qualified mentor. That said, I come with no answers. All I can promise a mentee is that within my profession I’ve been there and done it all.

I see this exchange as a 2 way street. We get what we give, don’t we?

“The best teachers have always been and always will be those who remain curious learners themselves. Would you rather be advised by someone whose mind is shut because she knows it all or by someone whose mind is open because she is always looking to deepen her knowledge?” writes Mary Abbajay.

There’s so much we can learn from someone younger and we should. After all we’re living and working amongst them. In my case, I’m writing for them. I’m more than open to being set straight if I suggest a lyric that’s culturally antiquated. 😳I’m all ears when it come to the new it-girl or boy I never heard of. 😳😳

We’re all works in progress. Once we close our minds and stop learning we’re seriously f*cked. I’ve always said…it’s the fastest way to grow old. 

My mentee and I are 1 session down and 7 to go. Of course everything we share is confidential. But I can tell you that I initiated our journey with the idea that I know nothing for certain…everything I put forth is merely my opinion — something to take to bed at night and consider. Mull over. If you wake up in the morning and realize you vehemently disagree well, that would still mean you made progress…found clarity...moved forward. And that is what I hope I’m there for.

🙏for reading. If you'd like to receive my blog via email or be notified when new MUSIC comes out please click here. Pick up a copy of the GRAMMY Nominated “Confessions of a Serial Songwriter.” Visit my Serial Songwriter Facebook Page. Follow me on Twitter and Insta. ☮️