Out From Under (His Eye)
When I wrote the lyrics to “Out From Under,” a track Britney Spears recorded for her 2008 album Circus, I was thinking about how we feel when we’re trying to get ‘out from under’ the influence of love. But after I heard Britney’s recent leaked testimony — about how her father has had control over all major aspects of her life and finances — it occurred to me that maybe what she was thinking about when she sang it was getting out from under the influence of him. That’s way worse than a broken heart.
You can listen and feel for yourself but a few things occurred to me after I finished.
James (Jamie) Spears was at the studio the night Britney sang vocals for “Out From Under.” She seemed sad, despondent even. It wasn’t normal. I’m pretty easy to talk to. There were all those rumors. Was she on meds? And if so did she need them? In other words, did they make her unsteady when she wasn’t to begin with?
Britney had agreed to a voluntary psychiatric evaluation (which she “failed”). Her father was given a court-ordered conservatorship and made her go to rehab to get “well.” We all know the story.
Ok. For the sake of argument let’s assume there’s a lot more to this story. Tough love never looks loving from the outside. Parents are advised to let their child hit bottom all by themselves in order for them to come back up. Excruciating! I can’t imagine how hard that would be. (For either of us.) Or what “bottom” would look like. I might send my child anywhere kicking and screaming (rehab, boot camp) before I could watch them hit bottom.
One has to wonder however, if Jamie Spears (or Mom Spears for that matter) ever tried an abundance of love? Did they ever say, “I know you’re exhausted. Why not take a a break, honey? We love you. We’ll be here. We don’t want anything in return.”
Oh and btw, court filings also document that Jamie Spears engaged in "verbal abuse, tirades, inappropriate behavior and alcoholic relapses.” So maybe he should submit to a voluntary psychiatric evaluation as well.
He looks kinda creepy if you ask me
That said, in the leaked testimony Britney’s speech is shaky and accelerated. Understandable. She’s nervous. The judge asks her to slow down — the stenographer can’t keep up. She apologizes. And then resumes at the same speed. We hear daughter recount how her father forced her to stay on birth control, to tour, how he threatened to sue her if she didn’t, how he (allegedly) had her medication changed to lithium and laughed at her when she protested. (Um, I had a friend who jumped out a window after being on lithium for too long.)
Post-rehab she was held hostage in her own home, stripped of her credit cards, her phone, privacy, her car, even of her kids if she didn’t work work work and make money for those in control of her. Brutal.
She said she told her fans she was Ok but that she was lying. And now 13 years later at 39 she wants her life back once and for all. Can you blame her?
Where was her lawyer (Samuel D. Ingham) who grossed over 3 million dollars advocating for his client over the course of these years? Britney says she didn’t know she could petition to end the conservatorship. Seriously? If that’s true then…
wouldn’t it have occurred to her to get a second opinion?
or maybe not if you’re on lithium
the man should be disbarred
or at least be ordered to give Britney her money back! 😡
Again, the judge asks her to slow down. “Ok Cool,” she says. But she never slows down. It occurs to me it’s not just nerves. She seems unstable. Honestly, I would not feel comfortable riding in a car being driven by someone who talks like this. Would you?
At some point she is rambling…disjointed fragments of jittery sentences. I can hardly understand. But here’s some of what I caught: (paraphrasing)
All I want is for my boyfriend to drive me in his fucking car
Something about…Miley cyrus smoking joints back stage
I have an ID (I think she meant IUD) inside of myself right now so I don’t get pregnant but the team (team?) won’t let me go to the doctor to take it out because they don’t want me to have children
I want to get married and have a baby
My own family does interviews and ... making me feel so stupid
I don’t owe them to go see a man I don’t know and share him my problems
…these scummy paparazzi laughing at my faces while I’m crying coming out and taking my pictures as all these white nice dinners where people drinking wine at restaurants watching me ? these places.
I want to be able to be heard
To make me keep this in for so long is not good for my heart
I’m tired of feeling alone. (That one made me cry)
And her bottom line:
“I want to end the conservative ship without having to be evaluated.”
I say this with love and compassion: I fear if Britney is re-evaluated she will not “pass.” To my ears she sounds like she is not well. After everything she’s been through regardless of what came first — the meds or the instability — she could probably benefit from talking to someone who really wants to help her and is qualified to do so.
We all want her to be free. To be able to talk slower and drive wherever she wants. To marry. To bare another child. To get out from under.
I hope the judge gets it right. But to be fair no matter what she (that judge) decides I hope she gets the dad out of the picture.
co-written by Arnthor Birgisson, Wayne Hector
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❤️Feels good to be out singing under the stars again ❤️