#TheShowMustBePaused
I’ve been trying to separate my music-loving social presence from my personal feelings about what’s going on in our country — maybe only post my personal opinions on my Facebook profile and my musical leanings on my Musician Page and Instagram.
On the other hand it seems tone def to be thinking about anything other than the current crisis. Yesterday I posted about a watermelon salad and today I'm like…WHAT THE F WAS I THINKING?
This morning I listened to St. Paul’s Mayor Melvin Carter preach about not using our anger and energy to destroy. I understood what he was saying. Yet, I understand the rage as well. Why does a country go to war? Is war a peaceful protest? We go to war when we have no choice, when we’re not being heard, when we’re at the end of our rope. The same people who are telling us not to go to war, go to war.
At first I believed some of the more destructive behavior we were seeing (the burning of a squad car, tagging) was at least directly related to the matter at hand: another senseless death of another black man at the hand (knee!) of yet another core-less cop that has yet to be extinguished from a system on which we depend to protect us. I’m not defending the burning and tagging. But I could absorb it.
At the same time, I have empathy for the good cops — the ones who feel the same frustration as the peaceful (and not so peaceful) protesters but have to hold the line and the crowd back nonetheless lest we have complete and utter anarchy. But it turned to anarchy pretty quickly regardless….
…because when the burning and tagging turned to the destruction of “innocent” buildings and businesses it ruined a promising movement. Public sentiment went south. Don’t they realize how this behavior dishonors George Floyd and all who came before him? Shame on them. There’s no excuse.
It’s complicated, though. Someone sent me this:
But then I see THIS!
Outside agitators? I thought wow, another conspiracy theory! But the scenes got so violent so quickly I realized it was true. They were definitely not an extension of the protest. We are are not all the same at heart. 🙁
On top of everything we’re in the midst of a global pandemic which was enough of a crisis on its own. Even the peaceful protests may be rejuvenating the curve we’ve worked so hard to flatten. (Furthermore, I never realized how much facial expression and lip-reading is involved in understanding what someone is trying to say. It’s hard enough to be heard under normal circumstances and now cries for justice are being further muffled because of a mask we’re required to wear — one that their President refuses to. What the Hell is Going On?)
I feel like I’m in an episode of Black Mirror.
The only vision on TV that warms my heart is seeing people of every color come together in solidarity. 💜
What does this have to do with music? I think I needed to write it down so that on the occasion I play you a song or unmindfully post a watermelon salad, you know I’m not oblivious. I’m in my own private emotional hell right now about how we got here and how we’re ever gonna get out. For the first time in my life I consider that at the rate we’re going I’m not going to see these problems abated by the end of my tenure on earth. And I’m an optimist!
And so, in the middle of an afternoon, while I’m still soft-sheltering in place, not sure how safe it is to go back into the water…(because CNN is telling me one thing and FOX is telling me another) and witnessing the many riots-in-progress, one of which is a bungee jump away from my front door, I force myself to find “room” to go out in my yard with guitar and sing. And it feels good. I can’t deny myself the respite. It’s a saving grace for me and perhaps many of my friends and colleagues.
Music is medicine. It’s meant to be shared.
On Tuesday I’ll join my community in facing this dark moment with 24 hours of social media silence and reflection. If you’re a music lover please join us.
Yes, the show must be paused, and then the show must also go on.
☮️
